love love love.

So, I'm not going to start out by defining Valentine's Day or anything. I'm sure we all understand the day and why it is what it is.

However, since Valentine's Day has to do with love, it always makes me reflect on how glad I know how to unconditionally love. That I had overcome various emotional obstacles, forgave, and learned to truly unconditionally love someone. I grew up with a conditional father (who had a very conditional mother) and a grandmother who was very conditional. It wasn't until I was about 15/16 years of age that I had realized I grew up this way. I started to evaluate how I was toward people and realized that how I treated my mother and a couple other people closest was on a conditional level. Through a lot of writing, evaluation, therapy, and reflecting out loud to my mother I was able to overcome this.

So, since today has to do with love, this is how I like to celebrate my Valentine's Day. That I can love unconditional and continually learn how to love other people unconditionally just as I am loved by Him unconditionally.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Jury Duty 2010

Once before I received a summons to jury duty, however I wasn't living in the country at the time. My madre had to call them up, explain I wasn't in the country, and then after she went as far as giving them a photo copy (of a photo copy) of my visa. I received my second summons in the mail in early January and instantly exclaimed, "OH NO!" when I saw that little off white card with the green strip going across.

At first I was so disappointed, but after a few instances that took place at work I thought, "I'd like to get picked for a jury and miss a week of work. Maybe some people will have reality smack them in the face with how good they actually have it!" Yes, there was some bitterness to that, but also truth. Anyways.

After I get off the subway and make my way towards the building I need to report to I'm greeted by this friendly man selling newspapers, "Young lady you are in the right place! I see that look every morning!" I almost bought a newspaper from him just because he was so sweet! (but I couldn't. I've already caved too many times to those Girl Scouts. They have great selling tactics!). I had to make my way through various scanning machines to make sure I was safe to be in the building, talk to a bunch of ladies who wanted me to fill out surveys, and then sat between two ladies who seem bitter about being there.

I was called to participate in a jury. I sat there until I was called to see the judge with the others who were called with me... and LOTS of time passes. I go to lunch (omg, I had an awesome lunch) and came back... sat some more and then was told that the guy who was being charged (?) decided not to go before a jury. I collected my $9, got a tea from Starbucks, and tried to read some magazines. My brain couldn't function after a day of sitting around, some reading, some napping, and a rather large and delicious lunch.

The most important thing I learned today: Jef couldn't believe I got a $9 check for just showing my face... the UK receives NOTHING for jury duty.

40 Days of Water // Follow-up

My dear friend, Lisa-Marie, has opted to commit to a 40 Days of Water challenge too. She lives across the ocean in the beautiful small country of Scotland and will be participating with a more local organization: SCIAF. During these 40 days she has several celebrations that call for drinks... I'm not going to blab her information! READ IT FOR YOURSELF!. (Also, while you're at it, read her interview with David Bazan! It's equally as awesome as Relevent Magazine's interview ).

Right, so not only human's are participating in 40 Days of Water. Anne Jackson's cat is participating too !

Another place I'd like to draw attention to is LIGHT GIVES HEAT . This organisation wants to see Africa rebuilt (read their mission & vision statement) and has a really great store to buy from. I've bought various items from the store and absolutely love them! (In fact, I just bought the rice bag & didn't realise they included a necklace in the pocket until I was on my way to jury duty!).

Again, I ask that any of you who read this pray, ponder, give consideration to this cause!

xx

-b'ahavah

Water, H2O, Agua, d'eau

WATER.

Water is something that we all cannot live without. We regularly flush our toilets, can use all the water we want to wash our clothes, dishes, and other items. We toss water down the drain about using it to prepare food, some people may keep the water running while they wash their face/brush their teeth, and then there are those who love taking long hot showers and feeling of those hot water hitting their skin.

If you have these options I consider you to be privileged.

I've spent time in Mexico where these options are available, but they're conscience of this privelege and refuse to let a drop go to waste. This experience had changed my water using habits drastically.

There are two organizations that I support and love to tell other people about:

charity:water

&

blood:water mission

Last year blood:water mission created a campaign 40 Days of Water (*no ark necessary). For 40 days you drink only water. Any money that you would typically spend on a soda, coffee, or any other drink would be donated to their organization to help bring water to areas of Africa. I committed to this task last year and realized that I really do drink that much water on a daily basis and rarely purchase any other beverage. So, I decided that every time I think about wanting to drink something else or my taste buds would love to taste something else I'd donate the money that that beverage would have cost. Realizing how much water I drink made me reevaluate my usage of water even more.

I'd like to encourage you, whoever you are reading this, that you consider taking 40 days to drink only water and donate your money. I understand that times are tough and what not, but think about it this way: this was money you were intending to spend on other beverages anyways, and maybe had budgeted to spend it, so it won't hurt to donate!

I promise, you'll feel healthier!

One detail I realized I left out: this takes the 17th February to 3rd April (a.k.a. Lent).

I'm praying that you consider, ponder, pray, about taking part in this event!

Habits/Discipline/ & Haiti

The past several weeks I've been paying attention to my habits... my lazy habits. These habits tend to form because a lot of the time I opt to ignore time management. Often I mentally slap myself on the wrist for this. I've been paying attention to these habits so I can mend them better. I needed to pay attention to the amount of time I really have day to day. Some days are much longer than others.

I'm pretty sure I've found a good middle for me in keeping sane & maintaing all the things I need to do.


Aside from that, 2010 has provided to be a good year. I'm still fasting, which has been really great. There is so much I'm excited about for 2010!!! I feel lead to continue my fast into February. This will be four week of discipline and structure.

The earthquake in Haiti leaves my heart broken and just seeing the bits and pieces I have on the news leaves me speechless. When I heard about the earthquake I had thought of my professor who has family in Haiti. In class that week he held onto his phone for dear life and taught with the phone never leaving his clenched fist. Later in the week he heard from this family, who are all okay and well. My family has donated money through Joyce Meyer's ministry who has been there prior to the earthquake.

This week Anne Jackson wrote a blog about her traveling to Haiti. Please keep her, and all the others who have traveled to assist, in your prayers and thoughts.


xx
b'ahavah

My 2009.

I haven't forgot about this post, I just became consumed with holiday things & some laziness :P


2009 was the most life changing year for me.



I continued to take full time care of my great grandmother, I had some medical issues, and my brother finally went into rehab.

Taking care of my great grandmother was quite the experience. There is no comparison to when I had to help take care of my paternal grandmother when she had lung/liver cancer and I was 11/12. I spent many nights and days by my great grandmother's side and aided her in various daily tasks. I started to think about how many things that she needs help doing that I take advantage of each and every day. We had conversations about history, events, God and His involvement in such things... we watch movies, discussed books, and she loved asking how my iPod was doing. I started looking forward to the afternoons in the retirement home dining room and getting acquainted with other residents that we would eat with. As I started to get to know them, I'd bring things in that I knew they'd like, I'd ask if they needed anything/needed anything done in their apartment (afterall, they were senior citizens and I saw first hand how limited they are/were). Throughout all this time, I started really thinking about my life, what to do, things to do, how to feel about some things and not bother feeling about other things, and so on. After hearing their stories and their experiences I really reflected on how I am with things now and how I should really be carrying on. Afterall, there were some residents who shared really personal stories with me and stated how they regretted acting such a way or having habits in life that weren't worth it.

All of this made me think about my paternal grandmother who had SO much regret at the end of her life, that she wanted to avoid dying and try to make some things right. I was 12 years old when she told me dark stories, personal thoughts/regrets/mistakes/accomplishments, family stories I would never tell a 12 year old, and what she wanted before she died. It was shocking. I remembering telling my mom about all of this and she was kinda horrified about it. I didn't really think about these words she shared with me until later in life, when it all made sense and created a complete circle... then I realized how all of her actions 50 years ago had an enormous impact on my current life. It was mind boggling.

ALL OF THIS made me reevaluate my relationships, my life, my thoughts, my emotions... it had such a huge impact. 2009 is a year I'll neve forget.

My great grandmother had passed away on August 7, 2009. It was a beautiful summer day, it was hot and humid... there was a perfect breeze with the right amount of sun and clouds in the sky. It was a beautiful moment to know that she was no longer with us and in pain, but in her heavenly body.


Shortly after that a lot of drama with my brother commenced- he needed to go into rehab and get clean. He attempted suicide and was admitted into an institution. Unfortunately the amount of events that had taken place was so serious that we haven't spoken in quite awhile. It was a very emotional time (again) for me because I couldn't believe this was my brother doing these things.


Come November, I became a slug. I didn't have the energy to focus on anything that happened during the year. I put my energy into reading, school work, work, and watching films. I needed time to heal on my own and acknowledge all of these events.


Between all of this there was some fun, I always have to make things fun! My tia came to Philadelphia and we celebrated birthdays, I went to New Mexico and spent time with my tia in our family's stateside homeland... it was the first time in over 10 years we've seen one another!

What topped 2009 was my visit from Last Year's Girl. We had an awesome time & it really made me appreciate where I live!

I was reacquainted with my maternal grandmother, who is an interesting character. I spent some good quality time with my maternal grandfather who is a goofball.

I also had met, in real life and virtually, some really awesome people.

All in all, as crazy, inconvenient, emotional, and hard as 2009 was it has been my favourite.

And that the shortest summary I can give!

HAPPY NEW YEAR! BONNE ANNÉE!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

BONNE ANNÉE!

I rang in the new year with a lovely little pijames party. My 2009 was a long one... which I haven't blogged about yet, I know. I just wanted to say HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I am doing the The 31 Day Challenge and a fast for the month of January. There is a lot that I plan to accomplish for January that has to do with my first fruits for the year. This is something I've been doing every January for several years now, this year being a bit more intense than the last few.

Even if you may not share the same beliefs that I do, you are more than welcome to take part in the 31 Day Challenge. It's a book that can open the eyes of people no matter what faith you may participate in.

xx