My 2009.

I haven't forgot about this post, I just became consumed with holiday things & some laziness :P


2009 was the most life changing year for me.



I continued to take full time care of my great grandmother, I had some medical issues, and my brother finally went into rehab.

Taking care of my great grandmother was quite the experience. There is no comparison to when I had to help take care of my paternal grandmother when she had lung/liver cancer and I was 11/12. I spent many nights and days by my great grandmother's side and aided her in various daily tasks. I started to think about how many things that she needs help doing that I take advantage of each and every day. We had conversations about history, events, God and His involvement in such things... we watch movies, discussed books, and she loved asking how my iPod was doing. I started looking forward to the afternoons in the retirement home dining room and getting acquainted with other residents that we would eat with. As I started to get to know them, I'd bring things in that I knew they'd like, I'd ask if they needed anything/needed anything done in their apartment (afterall, they were senior citizens and I saw first hand how limited they are/were). Throughout all this time, I started really thinking about my life, what to do, things to do, how to feel about some things and not bother feeling about other things, and so on. After hearing their stories and their experiences I really reflected on how I am with things now and how I should really be carrying on. Afterall, there were some residents who shared really personal stories with me and stated how they regretted acting such a way or having habits in life that weren't worth it.

All of this made me think about my paternal grandmother who had SO much regret at the end of her life, that she wanted to avoid dying and try to make some things right. I was 12 years old when she told me dark stories, personal thoughts/regrets/mistakes/accomplishments, family stories I would never tell a 12 year old, and what she wanted before she died. It was shocking. I remembering telling my mom about all of this and she was kinda horrified about it. I didn't really think about these words she shared with me until later in life, when it all made sense and created a complete circle... then I realized how all of her actions 50 years ago had an enormous impact on my current life. It was mind boggling.

ALL OF THIS made me reevaluate my relationships, my life, my thoughts, my emotions... it had such a huge impact. 2009 is a year I'll neve forget.

My great grandmother had passed away on August 7, 2009. It was a beautiful summer day, it was hot and humid... there was a perfect breeze with the right amount of sun and clouds in the sky. It was a beautiful moment to know that she was no longer with us and in pain, but in her heavenly body.


Shortly after that a lot of drama with my brother commenced- he needed to go into rehab and get clean. He attempted suicide and was admitted into an institution. Unfortunately the amount of events that had taken place was so serious that we haven't spoken in quite awhile. It was a very emotional time (again) for me because I couldn't believe this was my brother doing these things.


Come November, I became a slug. I didn't have the energy to focus on anything that happened during the year. I put my energy into reading, school work, work, and watching films. I needed time to heal on my own and acknowledge all of these events.


Between all of this there was some fun, I always have to make things fun! My tia came to Philadelphia and we celebrated birthdays, I went to New Mexico and spent time with my tia in our family's stateside homeland... it was the first time in over 10 years we've seen one another!

What topped 2009 was my visit from Last Year's Girl. We had an awesome time & it really made me appreciate where I live!

I was reacquainted with my maternal grandmother, who is an interesting character. I spent some good quality time with my maternal grandfather who is a goofball.

I also had met, in real life and virtually, some really awesome people.

All in all, as crazy, inconvenient, emotional, and hard as 2009 was it has been my favourite.

And that the shortest summary I can give!